Guardsssss

3 Stupid Security Guard

Best Divorce Letter

Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw..

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk panties.

You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your shows.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-wife

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to Spain together! Have a great life!

***************************************************
Dear EX-wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my shows so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy'!

Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating meat seven years ago.

About those new silk panties: I turned away from you because the $9.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your EX-husband,
Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Caroline. I hope that's not a problem.

Blasts at Bangkok airport

Blasts at Bangkok airport, other sites wound seven

BANGKOK: A blast at Bangkok's international airport and grenade attacks elsewhere in the city wounded at least seven people on Wednesday, as lawlessness spread amid anti-government protests, officials said.

=( Nbcb

Laugh

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had Someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as Well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

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-God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says 'You Chinese people bombed our f***ing Pearl Harbor, get out of here.'

The astonished Chinese man replied 'It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese'. 'Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,' replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says 'You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship.' Shocked,

Spielberg replies 'It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.' The Chinese replies, 'Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same.'

Thursday SG expo

http://www.singapore-expo.com.sg/

John Little Mega Expo Sale25 Nov 2008 - 08 Dec 2008Public - Free admissionClick here for event details

All Digital Demand Asia27 Nov 2008 - 29 Nov 2008Admission by registration Click here for event details

Peng : i going over to the IT fair on thursday, anyone wanna go ? YQ AI MAI ?

5 more days to the end of SIP! :D

Hey PEERS!

Do you 'all have any dates on?

Wanna meet up on FRIDAY? :)

It's time to relax and have a celebration!~

WAHAHA. :D

If you people keen, response OKAY!

We can go anywhere...

I believe no one wants to head home straight on a FRIDAY NIGHT right?

Moreover it's the last day of SIP!

Let's slack and chill'out~! :)

Lolipop lol

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)

Meet Plaza Sing after work.
Movie slot will be 8.30pm. (BOOK ALREADY)

:)

LOL

Simplicity -Meh Ignorance is a bliss to the human mind says:
eh.. how u book chalet de ah

Zuo Ping- says:
www.bookchalet.com

Simplicity - Meh Ignorance is a bliss to the human mind says:
online booking or have to go down in person

Simplicity - Meh Ignorance is a bliss to the human mind says:
-.-

Lol

Budget Co. Singapore Pte Ltd & Their Policy

Internship is not that bad right. At least we do not need to sit at this type of place..

A Budget Office. LAUGHoutLOUD!

**********************************************************************************

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks: [This part very funny sia!]

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Thank you.

You are not a MONK !

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The Monks graciously accept him, give him dinner and even fix his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound not like anything he's ever heard before. Mystical and spiritual, full of extraordinary beauty.

The Sirens that almost seduced Odysseus into grounding his ship must have sounded like this, he thinks.

He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a mesmerizing and seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man returns to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk."

The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a Monk."

The man sets about his task.

After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the Monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I travelled the earth and have found what you asked for:
By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."

The Monks give him the key and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door- it is made of stone.

The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!

With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound...
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But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

Ben & Jerry's Very First Ice Cream Festival!

Greetings from Ben & Jerry's Singapore! You are invited to the chunkiest & coolest ice cream festival in town. Bring your family & friends along to enjoy a moovellous concoction of moosic, games, great food & a euphoric amount of moolicious Ben & Jerry's ice cream!

Peace, Love & Ice Cream! http://www.benjerry.com.sg/

E-Journal

Please be reminded...

The LAST E-Journal by coming Wednesday, 19/11/08!!!

THE LAST ONE AT LAST!!! hahaha..

Ok la.. Very fast very fast.. Ending soon already.. hang in there!!!

11 more days or lesser for some.. hahaha..

All the best for the remaining 2 weeks!!!

Cya all soon!!! :)

:)

Hearing Problem

An elderly lady was concerned about her husband's hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn't respond. The lady went to the doctor to ask his advice.

The doctor said to her: "When you go home, tell your husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you."

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home, she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and yelled,

"Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"

There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer. Again she yelled,

"Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"

No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband. She yelled even louder this time, "HERBERT, what do you want for dinner?!!"


Herbert yells back at her,

"For the THIRD time i say, I WANT CHICKEN!!"

Bras

"Mum, can I ask you something?"

"Sure! What about?"

"You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's just proper that I should own one."

"And what is this 'one' you're referring to?"

"Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?"

"No."

"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."

"Nope."

"It will be just proper at my age..."

"I said NO way...!"

"But all of my friends wears.......!"

"David! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"

Dinner Chat

One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner:

WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

MAN: Definitely not!

WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?

MAN: Of course I do.

WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

MAN: (makes audible groan)

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

MAN: Where else would we sleep?

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

WOMAN: - - - silence - - -

MAN: SHIT..

Funny

Muthu and the teacher

Muthu was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Muthu, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you hit one with your catapult, how many would be left?" "None," replied Muthu, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Muthu then says, "I have a question for you, teacher. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I.....I guess..... the one sucking the cone ?" "No teacher," said Muthu, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, butI like the way you're thinking too !"


Work phone

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

Dad: People, this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company's mobile

Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)

Tuesday or Thursday, Any one want to watch ?

Tuesday Timing At GV plaza
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa*(Sub: Chinese)

6:50PM 7:20PM 7:40PM 8:30PM 9:00PM 9:30PM

Thursday Timing at TM
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa*(Sub: Chinese)
6:20PM 7:00PM 7:45PM 8:30PM 9:10PM

4th meeting at Marina Square =)
Dinner at Thai Express, then as usual waste time going around deciding where to slack. Ended up at starbucks and Esplande.

Hilarious Jokes..

No.1
Somewhere in the mountainous regions of canada, a Giant Male Bear is terrorizing & eating the villagers and it stays on top of the mountains. One day, a brave warrior volunteer to go up to the mountains and kill the bear once and for all. He brought along knifes and swords. On top of the mountain, he found the bear and they fought for a few hours until he was caught by the bear and it was about to eat him up until he pleaded and says he'll do anything as long as the bear doesn't kill him. The bear asked him to do a 'blowjob' and thinking for his life, he did it & was freed by the bear but vomited many times while coming down the mountain. The villagers were excited and asked whether he had killed the bear but he was too embarrasssed to talk about it but promised revenge. A few days later, he brought along a shortgun,some hand grenades and went up the mountain again to make sure that he'll kill the bugger with ease. Once again after a few hours of battle, he was caught by the bear again. He pleaded and was once again, told to do a blow job for the bear. Worrying that he'll be killed if he doesn't comply, he did it and vomited again while going back to the village. He vowed revenge and fight to the death this time and carried along dynamites,AK-47 machine guns and a bazooka to whack the bastard. Once again after the a few hours, he again lost the war with the bear and was caught. The bear stared at him in the eyes and asked...Are u here actually to kill me or for the 'blowjob'?

P.S. a bit longwinded story, sorry yeah !

No. 2

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a spermcount as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring backa semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man re-appeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teethout, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first withboth hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between herknees, but still nothing."The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
The old man replied, *'Yep, none of us could get the jar open..."

4th Meet-Up 14th Nov (FRIDAY)

Take Note:

Meeting Place will be at Chinatown (Changing of plan)
Time will be between 6pm to 7pm.
Feel free to call whoever you think they are already there olright.

:)

Stress Reliever

1)
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

2)
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

3)
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

4)
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Please vote! :)

Hey members and committee..
So what's your vote for coming Friday dinner?

A) Bugis Steamboat
B) Dinner buffet at Zheng Fa Huo Huo Guo Hai Sen Guan (Saw from the "buffet buffet" variety show...at clementi? abit over hor? lol)
C) Zi Cha
D) Fish and Co (Glass house)
E) Claypot Rice
F) BAN MAN DRY

Other then all these above.. any other suggestions you all have in mind?
There is no such place that sell "suibian" or "anything" or whatever that is along the line ah....

SO PLEASE VOTE CAN! At least half of you vote..then we can come to a decision.

Reservation is not easy on FRIDAY.
Most restaurants usually don't take in reservation..
So please be prepared to WAITTTTTT again ahh..
Haha. :D

And is Lynn's suggestion for PRAWNING taken into anot?
NO response means what ah?

Pending: Gretel, Yishan, Eileen, Worm and Kelly 's to revert their attendance.

"Thanks! Thanks!" :D

LaughZ

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'. 'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient. The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'. 'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?' The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She blamed her maid in front of her husband. The maid replied: " Sir! you should know very well I don't wear any underwear!"

Jokes

3 hunters Jack, Andy and Mark from America went to a jungle for hunting. While hunting they were caught by a group of Red Indian. The chief of the Red Indian wanted to kill them but the 3 hunter say to him
“Please don’t kill us; we will do everything you want us to do”

The chief laughed and replied:
“Ok, I will not kill you if you can fulfill what I want you to do, Now each of you go and search for a 1 basket of a single fruit and come back. And I will tell you what to do.

Jack quickly went to look for a kind of fruit and he brought back a basket of apples.

Followed by Andy, he brought back a basket of cherries.

A few hours have passed and Mark is not back yet so the chief gave the instruction to start without Mark first. He told Jack and Andy that, for the whole basket of fruits that they brought back, they need to squeeze every single fruit into their asshole and the rule is they cannot shout or laugh or make a single noise, if not they will be killed.

So Jack started with his apple first, For the first apple he try to squeeze in, he shouted in pain and he was killed.

Next is Andy, he squeezed his cherry 1 by 1 and he was doing well until the very last cherry he laughed out loudly and he was also killed!

Jack and Andy soul met in heaven and Jack asked Andy: “ Ehh why you laugh ? You damn stupid sia, Last cherry only and you don’t have to die!”

Andy replied: I saw Mark coming back with a basket of durian! Lol.

=)

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"

4th Meet-Up :)

Attention all BMC members and the Committee!
(You know who you are..:D)

According to our every 2 weeks meet-up plan...
It's time for our 4th meet-up next week ah..!
Of coz this is not a COMPLUSORY meet-up yep..
but if you miss anyone.. E.g. peng miss lynn ah...leslie miss EVERYONE lah.. then no need to hesitate, just turn up. :D

I will appreciate if you guys update your preferred day for the meet-up okay.
(update your name on the days that you are available if only you are keen for it.)

PLEASE STATE THE DAYS THAT YOU ARE FREE NOT NOT ONLY CHOOSE ONE DAY !! THANKS =)


Mon (10/11) 1. Leslie

Tue (11/11) 1.Eugene 2. Leslie 3. peng

Wed (12/11) 1.Mag

Thurs (13/11) 1.Yanqing 2. Peng 3.Woon Cheng 4. Xiaoran 5.Shiyuan 6.Mag 7. Yong liang

Fri (14/11) 1.Yanqing 2.Peng 3.Lynn 4.Xiaoran 5.Eugene 6.Shiyuan 7.Mag 8. Leslie 9. Min jie 10. yong liang 11. Cheryl


As you guys know... we are a BIG BIG group... we always have the prob finding seats during dinner time.. AND~! we always DUNO where to head for dinner...

SOooo..do drop some suggestions here olright and hopefully we able to make reservation beforehand so that we need not wait for soooo long for the 2nd time....

A) Bugis Steamboat
B) Dinner buffet at Zheng Fa Huo Huo Guo Hai Sen Guan (Saw from the "buffet buffet" variety show...at clementi? abit over hor? lol)
C) Zi Cha
D) Fish and Co (Glass house)
E) Claypot Rice
F) BAN MAN DRY

PRAWNING after Dinner. (Lynn's suggestion. :D)

Thank you very de much..
See ya all! :) :)

Marriage Jokes

1. One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. 'You can have mine.'

2. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and brought jewelry.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. A man meet a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says,' ok, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

5. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener

6. Marriage is grand....and divorce is at least 100 grand

7. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You ordered what you want and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

8. Love is one long sweet dream, marriage is the alarm clock.

9. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through hell!!

10. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Just for Laugh :)

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy isn't it ?" "It did, but today is the last day."

Write to ur SIP boss :p

How to ask your boss for a salary increase??

One day an employee sends a letter to boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon. Thank$$$$

Your$ $incerely,
Marian $hih

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

Letter To Tech Support :)

JUST FOR LAUGHS, FOLKS.

Please click on the image if it's too small.. I bet it's worth the click~




Guys, you must be nodding your head HARD...
Girls, don't worry too much cos most guys can't live without girls..

Please Note: Girlfriend 5.0 and Wife 1.0 are limited edition!! :) While Stocks Last.

Husband Store

Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay,

But she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

BTW Mag going Hongkong and China soon, Can ask her for gifts and sourvenir, Mag One gucci wallet thanks in advance.

ah boy 讲故事2.

A turkey was chatting with a bull,

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey "But I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
“They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave it enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

HAHA :)

Q: In Europe, what do you call a female wearing sunglasses & a big hat?

A: A rich lady



Q: In China, what do you call a female wearing sunglasses & a big hat?

A: Tai-tai



Q: In Singapore,what do you call a female wearing sunglasses and a big hat?

*Make a guess and tagged it~! :)

Answer: The Carpark Attendant!

Winner List

1) CEO the boy himself
2) Eileen (Must have come across this before)
3) Wooncheng

Congrats x10. Hahaha. budden CEO never approve free one BOWL of ban mian for this leh.
:D

Mag, Peng and Lynn...try harder next time OKAY! hahahah!

Ticket please

Three Canadians and three Americans are traveling by train to a hockey game.
At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket."How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an American."Watch and you'll see," says a Canadian.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket Please."
The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The Conductor takes it and moves on.

The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.So after the game they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money.
When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all."How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American."Watch and you'll see", replies a Canadian.When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby.Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket Please".

ah boy 讲故事.

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonderlamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as there are three of you, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "
Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch ".

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always allow the boss to speak first

Road Trip

We are at the PEAK OF MOUNT FABER ! =)

Mount Faber Road trip

Peng, Cheryl, Yan Qing, Leslie, Worm, Eug, YL

Driver: Cheryl Choo

Car Used: M6

Facts ?

Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.

Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.

Ants never sleep.

The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people.

Women blink twice as many times as men do.

The life span of a taste bud is ten days.

A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds. <---- LJ also !

The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime.

The average speed of Heinz ketchup leaving thebottle is 25 miles per year.

The percent of women who wash their handsafter leaving a restroom is 80%.

The percent of men who wash their hands afterusing a restroom is 55%. <---- should be correct ar, Peng and Yl go toilet, Peng wash Yl nv wash.

The Eifel Tower has 2 500 000 rivets in it.

10 tons of space dust fall on the Eartheveryday. < ----Damn LJ ar, who can measure sia

The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps.

In india it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitue than buy a condom!

Sex burns 360 calories per hour! <---- No wonder Yong liang so skinny

Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It’s called parthenogenesis.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. <----COCK, If it's true leslie would have die sia LOL

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing.

Min Jie's 3-on-3.

Min Jie's 3-on-3 Competition

2nd November 2008 : After On-Campus Session.

During the match when Peng, Worm, Yong Liang, Leslie, Lynn, Yan Qing, Cheryl and Kelly were watching.. Thanks guys for the support~ :)

Posing & Aiming for the shot...

Jumps & Release the ball to the basket...

Min Jie with his Gold Medal...


Awarded Champion for Category Mens Under 20 - Team Ji Tao Cui.