Stress Reliever

1)
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

2)
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

3)
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

4)
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.